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version of the Royal Rumble for charity.
I have the perfect answer for solving KU’s athletic department’s problem and the Jayhawks desire to issue clotheslines, forearm shivers and head butts every time they see the other team’s players.
No, it’s not lining them up in jail for a weekend.
It’s not suspending the players for the Big 12 opener.
Just hold a Jayhawk version of the Royal Rumble. Set up a ring at center court of Allen Fieldhouse. Sell tickets for $25 a pop, $40 for ringside. Proceeds to a designated charity. The basketball and football team each get to select eight representatives.
For those unfamiliar with the Royal Rumble, it started in the WWF days. I watched the first Royal Rumble as a high schooler in 1989, as it’s a fun format (Jim “Hacksaw” Duggan won). The WWE has carried it over today, though I haven’t watched wrestling in 10 years, give or take another five.
Anyway, the match starts with two wrestlers and every 90 seconds, another wrestler enters the ring. Eventually a melee peaks with a ringful of wrestlers swinging, kicking and slugging. Wrestlers are eliminated if they are tossed over the ropes, out of the ring.
I’d say we start with Marcus Morris and a linebacker, and roll from there. Did I say $25 each? Shoot, make that $50 each. It would be a sellout and major charity event. Tyshawn Taylor coming in around the #7 contestant. The other Morris flying in around #11. The drama thickens with every thought about this event.
Okay, I’ll get serious. Mark Mangino and Bill Self really should hold a collaborative, mandatory meeting with all players from both teams in attendance. As suggested, they should state if there are any problems, lock the doors and end it there. But once the doors are unlocked, any player so much glare at another player is instantly suspended for a minimum of a game.
Sure, it would be putting their team’s season on the line, but what happened if a female student accidentally got caught in the crossfire at Wescoe? Or a wirey random freshman with his backpack strapped on, head down texting, caromed down the stairs? How ugly would this have been? Not just locally, but nationally.
Fights and brawls aren’t new to athletics. Heck, they aren’t new to guys in general, especially when a dispute over a girl is involved. But when it’s repeated within 24 hours – and involving the same guy who just emerged from the hospital – its time to turn on the fire hose and douse these young men with reality.
In the end, this will die down and be laughable in a few months. Although having not seeing a Royal Rumble since 1989, I’d be lining up ringside for this match.